It is just so strange how I feel. This is not something you just tell people about. Yet I want people to know (it may explain if my behavior is odd, flaky, or distracted) but I don’t want to talk about it. Mom does not want to tell people. She says they end up feeling worse than she does.
I honestly have no idea how to behave. Anyone I know that has gone through this, my actions toward them have been completely inadequate. I don’t have a clue as to what I should say or do. I consider this the human condition. Everyone I speak to has gone through this or will go through it. I have often said it is better that we lose our parents rather than our parents lose us.
I feel our actions towards others are all we really have. This is providing me enormous responsibility. I want to do the right thing. Yet, if someone if not treating me right, I want to call them out on it. Not my place. So not my place. And just because I think this, does not mean that they do.
They say that losing a parent makes us face our own mortality. I guess I am staring mine down.