Stare Down

It is just so strange how I feel.  This is not something you just tell people about.  Yet I want people to know (it may explain if my behavior is odd, flaky, or distracted) but I don’t want to talk about it.  Mom does not want to tell people.  She says they end up feeling worse than she does.

I honestly have no idea how to behave.  Anyone I know that has gone through this, my actions toward them have been completely inadequate.  I don’t have a clue as to what I should say or do.  I consider this the human condition.  Everyone I speak to has gone through this or will go through it.  I have often said it is better that we lose our parents rather than our parents lose us.

I feel our actions towards others are all we really have.  This is providing me enormous responsibility.  I want to do the right thing.  Yet, if someone if not treating me right, I want to call them out on it.  Not my place.  So not my place.  And just because I think this, does not mean that they do.

They say that losing a parent makes us face our own mortality.  I guess I am staring mine down.

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