It has been very surprising to me lately. It should not be. I should not be this jaded. This disconnected.
To look across the table but I wont make eye contact, not for long at least. Doesn’t anyone notice that I am not myself, that I am not really here?
I guess, the experience that my Dad is having illustrated mine to me. So clearly. My mom is dying. His wife of more than 50 years is dying. He helps her every day. But you see, my Dad has a friend. I hear that he has been spending a lot of time with his friend Steve.
You see, Steve, is having a really hard time. I know that one’s personal hell is what is between their ears. Hell is hell. Steve is having trouble. He is depressed, possibly suicidal. Really bad shape. I guess things fell apart with the woman that he was with. She wanted to marry. He did not. The relationship is no longer intact. So that is that. Steve is really broken up about its. Upset. Suicidal. My dad spends the hours that he is not supporting my Mom, consoling Steve.
Did I mention, about my Dad, his wife is dying? Not leaving. Not fighting. Dying. This is it.
My Dad looks at me and says, well, if you are like me, (I am) you are wired to help. Wired to help. But where is support for him? Who will listen to him? Who is there for him? More selfishly, me? When is someone there ?
Why am I listening about someone’s boss, or friend or job, when not one of those people sincerely asks me, how I am? Do they just not want to know? Is it too hard to ask? Or are we just on the island?
I know that by the time we all get to adulthood, we have our trials, our scars, we all do. We don’t need to air everything we know it is there. I really try to reach out, connect and really understand another human. Taking into account all these things that one cannot see.
Try to reach out. Try to understand another today. Try to be part of someone’s life. Try to be less narcissistic and try to help another. Or just be there. Or support someone else in the dark days. The one you are helping may be in deeper than you can even imagine. You will achieve so much by reaching out and connecting.